Take My Wife (Please) and Other Marriage Advice

Getting married? In addition to being bestowed with wedding gifts, I bet youÍve heard your fair share of advice from well-meaning family and friends. From ñItÍs okay to argue, but donÍt go to sleep angryî to ñremember to always put the seat down on the toilet,î most marriage advice is well meaning and on point. Some advice is truly a valuable gift for the groom and heeding it can save you tons of heartache and money! Sometimes a witty piece of advice might stay in your memory longer or a funny joke about marriage _ even though you might not share those exact sentiments about marriage, something in the saying really resonates with you. Here are some of our favorite wedding, marriage and love inspired sayings (some serious, some silly) from celebrities and famous people:

 

• Anyone who says he can see through women is missing a lot. --Groucho Marx
• I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury. --Groucho Max
• In Hollywood, brides keep the bouquets and throw away the groom. --Groucho Marx
• A man in love is incomplete until he is married. Then he's finished. --ZaZa Gabor
• Gravitation is not responsible for people falling in love. --Albert Einstein
• Marriage is an alliance entered into by a man who can't sleep with the window shut, and a woman who can't sleep with the window open. --George Bernard Shaw
• Sometimes I wonder if men and women really suit each other. Perhaps they should live next door and just visit now and then. --Katherine Hepburn
• Love seems the swiftest but it is the slowest of all growths. No man or woman really knows what perfect love is until they have been married a quarter of a century. --Mark Twain
• Bigamy is having one husband or wife too many. Monogamy is the same. --Oscar Wilde
• Men always want to be a woman's first love. Women have a more subtle instinct: What they like is to be a man's last romance. --Oscar Wilde
• Never marry for money. Ye'll borrow it cheaper. --Scottish Proverb
• We have a couple of rules in our relationship. The first rule is that I make her feel like sheÍs getting everything. The second rule is that I actually do let her have her way in everything. And, so far, itÍs working. --Justin Timberlake
• There are two things for a marriage to be good. One is to work hard on it. The other one is to marry above you. And I succeeded at both of those.„ --Ben Affleck
• It's confusing. I've had so many wives and so many children that I don't know which hose to go first on Christmas. --Mickey Rooney
• Marriage is about the most expensive way for the average man to get laundry done. --Burt Reynolds
• Getting married is a lot like getting into a tub of hot water. After you get used to it, it ainÍt so bad. --Minnie Pearl
• The man who says his wife can't take a joke, forgets that she took him. _ Oscar Wilde
• I love being married. It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life. _Rita Rudner
• My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met. _ Rodney Dangerfield
• Take my wife. Please. _ Rodney Dangerfield
• Marriage is an institution, but who wants to live in an institution? -- Groucho Marx

Have you heard a great piece of love, wedding or marriage advice? Let us know in the comments below: