How to Marry a Billionaire

In what can only be interpreted as a challenge for dedicated wedding crashers everywhere, Google co-founder Larry Page is set to wed his girlfriend Lucy Southworth in a top-secret ceremony about which we can only tell you the following things: it takes place the weekend of December 8th, and you'll need an international passport to get there. Guests will include Richard Branson, founder of the multi-billion dollar Virgin conglomerate, and San Francisco Mayor Gavin Newsom, and the only reason Al Gore can't make it is that he's accepting his Nobel Prize that weekend (he will still check in to offer his well wishes via video conferencing).

So what are these soon-to-be newlyweds bringing to the table? Page brings business acumen and billions of dollars to this match, with Southworth offering the kind of mind befitting such a partnership - Southworth sports degrees from UPenn and Oxford, and she's currently in the Biomedical Informatics research department at Stanford University. All we ask is that Southworth and Page offset the Spears and Federline offspring of the world with some genius children of their own, and if they take after their pretty blonde mother, so much the better.

Will this no-doubt grand affair match the excesses of Google co-founder and June 2008's Marrying Man of the Month Sergey Brin? Only time and tabloids will tell. Until next time, remember: the key to impressing ladies is being an actual genius.

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