March Madness and Marriage: The Championship Edition

I'm a good planner. It's one of those reasons my fiance brags about me to her girlfriends. I'm always on time; I plan romantic dinners; I'm good with numbers; I've always got a pen handy. To top it off, I've been dutifully helping out with the logistics of our upcoming wedding for over a year now. She tells me her friends are so jealous when she regales them with stories of my planning abilities. She says she has no worries about the wedding going off without a hitch. "Don't forget about the honeymoon, too!" I remind her. She nods and goes back goes back to perusing the guest RSVP list. We're less than two weeks away, and our wedding is on April 5th. Yes, I know, that's NCAA Final Four Saturday! The culmination of March/April Madness! It's near sacrilege! But worry not. Like I said, I'm a good planner, and I've got it all covered: Exhibit A, the big video screen: Yes, we'll have to cut away for the weepy slideshow during the broadcast commercial breaks, but the rest of the time we'll have semifinal game action, twenty feet high! Can't wait for that first slam dunk! Exhibit B, hors d'oeuvres: I negotiated a deal. She got to choose the dinner menu if I got to select the snackables. How do hot wings, potato poppers and li'l smokies sausages tickle your tastebud palate? All fancied up by our caterer of course! They sound so good to me I just might pass on the main entree! Exhibit C, a little friendly competition: What else? A Pop-a-Shot Three Point game for the kids to play with (I might take a turn or two myself). Sounds more fun than tossing a bouquet, don't you think? And for the pice de rsistance, did I mention our honeymoon is in Las Vegas? When I plan an event, I plan it right! I didn't get to choose the date of our wedding (do you really think I would purposefully dishonor the Basketball Gods with a selection like that?), but there's no way I'm going to miss watching the championship game in the greatest gambling city of all time! I've got it planned to the last detail. We're staying at the New York New York Hotel, which just happens to house the ESPN Zone Restaurant. Wall-to-wall TVs and game grub galore. My groomsmen are flying in on the sly for a little casino sports book gambling party too. I'm sweetening the pot by giving these personalized poker sets as groomsmen gifts. I've got 15 filled out tournament brackets on the line, and I'm hoping at least one of them comes through! And if not, I'm sure it won't hurt to make a wager or two as well. We'll soon be cutting down the nets in our first home together, with a little luck! One of my groomsmen asked me if I shouldn't actually tell my fiance about all these plans, but I don't think that's necessary quite yet. Besides, I've sacrificed so much for this wedding already. Like, the other day I was on hold with the limousine company and I totally missed the the end of the West Virginia-Duke upset! Some things are just sacred to a sports fan. Missing the championship is out of the question. When she finally does find out, I hope she'll understand. The final touch of my plan is to explain it to her this way: "At least we're not having the bachelor party in Las Vegas as well!"