They say that success is 99 percent perspiration and 1% inspiration. Well, I'd say it's 50 percent perspiration, 1 percent inspiration and 49 percent illusion. Case in point. I work with a guy who I like to call the enigma. Not unlike Peter Sellers character in "The Gardner" my co-worker, Keith, speaks in tongues and usually makes absolutely zero sense. While he has most everyone in the office fooled, I think I have this guy figured out. If you were to say, "Hey Keith, when do you think I can get those TPS reports?" he would reply, "Depending on the fluidity of the communication ports, I can probably give you a better estimate once we've had the opportunity to access all the information." - Now, most of the folks nod their head at his response for fear of looking like morons for not understanding what the hell he's talking about. To take the charade of his a step further, Keith was recently given an awesome groomsmen's gift, a Rawlings Portfolio and it was personalized with the intials, A.C.E. Now good old Keith takes this awesome looking portfolio into every meeting and he furiously takes notes. I recently stole a glance at his notes to see a variety of stick figures with balloons above their heads. Ha! Just as I suspected! Keith is actually goofing off in the meetings yet he's completed his charade as the go-getter, sophisticate that the bosses are putting on the fast track. Damn you, Keith, and damn your beautiful portfolio! Now I've got to buy one...my initials will read, I.C.U. (for what you really are!!)

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