Many times, the mother of the groom can feel left out of the loop when it comes to the details of the wedding. With very few responsibilities leading up to and on the big day, it’s no wonder she may feel like a guest at her own child’s wedding. However, there are many ways to honor the groom’s mother, beginning as early as the beginning of your engagement. Read on to find out how to make her feel more included in the planning and party. It’s always a great idea to work on having a good relationship with your future mother-in-law, the sooner the better!
Include her in the wedding planning. Naturally, your mom is the first person you may think of when looking for help and advice about the wedding. However, the rules aren’t written in stone about who is allowed to assist with the tasks involved in getting the event ready, from looking for venues to planning the reception details. It’s always welcomed to have someone else to share the work with! One personal way you can include his mom is to invite her to come along on one of the wedding dress shopping trips. Or, at a minimum, you can ask her what style of dress she wore to her own wedding and share with her what you are thinking. This is also a good time to coordinate what your mother and her mother are wearing so that they won’t show up looking like twins.
Find out her talents and use them! Does your future mother in law have a beautiful singing voice, is she an excellent cook or is her penmanship off the charts? Performing a wedding song, making appetizers for a pre-wedding party or even addressing the wedding invitations may all be ways your man’s mom can be involved with the wedding. She might be a genius gift wrapper; if so, let her help your fiancée wrap up his groomsmen gifts. However, this isn’t an inclusive list; she could be skilled in any one or more of a number of areas. Is she a wine expert? Let her help you choose the pairings for your reception. Is she a master negotiator or bargain hunter? Let her help you score big deals on your big-ticket wedding purchase. There are so many ways the groom’s mother can help in the wedding. The best way to find out where her talents lie is to take the time and get to know her – invite her to lunch or a day at the spa, just the two of you, to find these things out!
She can assist with out of town guests. While you are tending to many last minute wedding details, your future mother-in-law can help guests coming in from other cities make travel arrangements. Several months before the wedding, ask her to research nearby hotels and secure a block of rooms at a group rate for your party. If she lives in the same town as the wedding, she can also come up with an information sheet that informs guests of nearby restaurants and attractions they can visit during your wedding weekend. Also, you can work with her to help make hospitality gift bags to leave in your guests’ hotel rooms that include various items to help them feel comfortable during their stay – consider maps, snacks, and a bottle of wine with a pair of personalized wine glasses. You also need to put her on the task of making sure that your guy has purchased and tied a bow on all his groomsmen gifts.
Hostess the Rehearsal Dinner. Traditionally, it is the responsibility of the groom’s family to throw a dinner party after the wedding rehearsal. At this time, the two families and important guests can mix and mingle, getting to know each other better before the big day. With your input and guest list, she is in charge of selecting a venue, menu and organizing the flow of activities. Do remember that since she is typically paying for the event, she may have strong opinions about the evening. Let her decide if dinner should be steak or chicken, pasta or rice! She might also like to put a family touch on the even by having barware engraved with the family’s last name letter. GroomStand.com has lots of personalized barware, from personalized beer mugs and wine glasses to personalized coasters to set them on! While you certainly can share your feelings about how the night should go down, remember to act tactfully and let her feel in charge of this special night. Ask in what ways YOU can help HER.
Create mother of the groom traditions. For example, after you and your father share the traditional dance at the wedding reception, share the spotlight by having her do the same with her son. This is a great way to honor her role as a parent who is having a child leave the proverbial nest. Don’t spring the dancing on her spur of the moment, she might feel embarrassed. Instead, ask her if she’d like to include this dance at the reception and then let her pick out the music and practice beforehand. Other mother of the groom traditions could include creating a special photo book for her, featuring one of her signature recipes at the wedding reception, and having her read a special scripture at the ceremony. The possibilities are unlimited.