A (Groom's) Room of One's Own

Even in these modern times, there is a chance that, if you are getting married, you will be moving in with your bride for the first time. Marriage-the merging of accounts, the joining of assets, the liquidating of lives- is a beautiful thing, but the connotations of moving in together can create some huge changes. The complete and utter elimination of privacy is one change that springs to mind.

But it doesn't have to be that way. The truth is, a lot of cohabitating couples confirm that the make-or-break factor of successfully living together comes down to an issue of personal space. Couples who opted for a one-bedroom over a studio, or a loft with a den, or a flat with a one- and- a- half bath instead of a one bathroom, reported a happier co-existence than those who chose snugger quarters. The bottom line is, no matter how much you love someone; everyone wants to feel that they are with their partner by choice, not constriction.

To retain the warm fuzzy feelings of being newlyweds, we recommend that new grooms secure some separate space where they can go and take a break from the constant blare of TLC and the Pilates home studio. We cannot stress the importance of this private sanctuary enough. In fact, we believe Virginia Woolf was not talking about aspiring women writers, but the newlywed groom when she touted the need for "a room of one's own." Sometimes being able to walk away from a situation, take a breath, and hang out solo for a few hours is all a new groom needs to remember how great marriage is all over again.

So, in planning your personal room, a little ingenuity can be used. The planning process is a time where sneaking a glance at your wife's TLC channel could be helpful: with just a few ideas for inspiration you should easily be able to convert an area of your home into a home office. A little sanding, a little sawing, perhaps the erection of a false wall or two and viola! your very own home office/den/personal center and retreat is created.

There are other ways to be proactive about your need for personal space. When you go to register for wedding gifts, include office furnishings like a leather mouse pad, desk clock, and zip letter portfolios. Many websites conveniently sell all these types of office ware as groomsmen gifts, so your groomsmen and other wedding guests will have no trouble going in on gifts or selecting from a whole variety of office supplies.

The increasingly popular groom's shower is another perfect time to tip your best man off to your home office aspirations. In this age of affirmative action, groom's showers are becoming a new and popular way of showering the groom with the same pre-wedding gifts, games, and affections that are afforded to the bride. Just as a bridal shower often has a theme, let your best man, father, best gal pal, or whoever is planning the shower, know that home office furnishings is the gift de rigueur for your groom's shower. No doubt your pals will be happy to oblige you. After all, you're the one picking out their groomsmen gifts right?

By setting aside a little space for yourself, full of manly gadgets like a humidor or personalized putter, you will once again feel like the king of your castle, or at least the king of your cubicle. Enjoy!