. . . . instead of tuxedos and bowties, the male wedding entourage shows up in casual Friday attire. And by casual Friday attire, we mean casual Friday at the gym – sweatpants, sneakers, and yesterday’s whiskers. Those with more groomed whiskers may have used their newly acquired shave sets (great groomsmen gifts) and sculpted out some mutton chops or a Fu Manchu especially for the occasion.
. . . . to satisfy the bride, the event is decked out in a unifying color theme; a color theme that suspiciously resembles that of the groom’s Alma mater or favorite football team. Another dead giveaway is that beverages are being serving in personalized beer mugs with NFL logos.
. . . the sit-down reception dinner has been replaced with a buffet of beef jerky, nachos, pizza and all-you-can-drink beer from a keg, or better from aluminum cans. Many of the guys are enjoying their useful groomsmen gifts, a Joe Six-Pack beer belt which will hold a half-dozen vessels of the precious liquid conveniently on person.
… Instead of having the traditional “Here Comes the Bride” playing as the wedding processional, the groom requests AC/DC’s “A Whole Lot of Rosie,” or something else completely awesome but oh-so inappropriate.
. . . . rather than passing out traditional groomsmen gifts that recipient’s would take home, the groom offers a standing invitation (much to the bride’s horror) to his wedding attendants to drop by his man cave anytime of the day or night to take shots from their personalized flasks and shooter glasses that will be permanently housed at the newlywed’s home.
. . . . wedding invitations are not engraved on heavy cardstock, do not feature fancy salutations, or bear romantic “Love” stamps. In the name of efficiency, a group email or text would be issued a few days before the Big Day. Or maybe just a Facebook status update.
. . . instead of after dinner waltzing and assorted line dances, the groom and his buddies will have the dance floor turned into a basketball court, mosh pit or wide open are for some other testosterone-infused entertainment.
. . . .rather than throwing rice, birdseed or blowing bubbles as the newlyweds make their getaway, the groom will have planned an impressive pyrotechnics show. Hey, sometimes you have to go big.