The Man's Guide to the Wedding Show

You might think the purpose of a wedding show is to appease giddy brides-to-be by engulfing them in a plethora of wedding planning mayhem. Well... you're right. That's exactly what a wedding show is, but that doesn't mean wedding shows are off-limits to dude fun. Take it from me, a guy that actually survived a wedding show - you might just enjoy it.

I'm not saying you need to set up a MAN DATE with a chilled chardonnay in personalized wine glasses just in time for the afternoon fashion show (although, there was some hot talent that was worth eyeing.) Honestly, there's cool stuff to see and do, but you've got to know what you're looking for. Use this step-by-step guide to keep you safe and sane as you enter the bridezilla gauntlet.

How to Survive a Wedding Show

Step 1: Go Sober

The night before, do not slug down two pitchers of beer and some mystery "red drink" as you bitch about the impending death of your manhood - like I did until 2 am.

Step 2: Prepare to Eat!

The best freakin' part of wedding shows are the free samples. We're not even talking Costco ham-on-a-toothpick samples. This is the big leagues. There were hors d'oeuvres as far as the eye can see. Crazy awesome wedding cake around every corner (I had one with orange liquor that tasted like an orange creamsicle.) There was even a guy handing out crab cakes! Bottom line; it was freakin' sweet!

Step 3: Look at Dude Stuff

It's hard to squeeze around the tables of flower girl jewelry and pastel parasols, but the outside booths of the show are where it's at when it comes to guyville wedding action. I ogled at all the getaway cars (one even let me jump inside a classic Rolls-Royce.) Just so you know, those old cars are just that - they're old. They even smell old, which isn't totally a bad thing, but it hugs the line between "vintage leather" and "black mold."

Step 4: Don't Look at Brides-to-be

Turns out most of the women there are in committed relationships - who would have guessed? However, drooling at pretty people wasn't off limits at the fashion show. It was super femmy, but I got off my feet for a while - so in the end there was no harm, no foul.

Step 5: Plan Your Escape Early

While wedding shows are almost enjoyable, but they're not better than drinking and football. This is a gigantic research day, and if you didn't come prepared to book a DJ or reserve a venue, you're just on collecting business cards mode. Give yourself an excuse to get the heck out of there after an hour or two and you'll stay sane while getting something out of this wedding show experience.