Bachelor Party

by Brad Patterson Today's topic in Getting Married 101 is the bachelor party. I am certainly not the expert on bachelor parties, having had only participated in one myself as the groom-to-be, and I am not planning any others. Larry King is truly the world's foremost authority on bachelor parties, having been the guest of honor maybe a dozen times, but he was unable to write this article. Something came up, like another interview with that annoying Susan Carpenter-McMillian woman or something like that. So, here I am again, offering some (allegedly) sage advice for grooms-to-be and/or bachelor party planners. Please follow along in your manual. Hopefully I can keep you out of the kind of trouble that no amount of groomsmen gifts, bridesmaids, your bride and her parents can fix. BE CAREFUL! This is the first, most important and really the only advice you need to make your bachelor party - or the one you are throwing for your friend - a success. Success is a subjective definition. Success to a police officer is going home alive at the end of a shift; success in life to some guys means owning a boat; success to a writer is getting published. Success in terms of a bachelor party is that everyone survives and the husband-to-be did not do anything that will have long-term consequences, i.e. future paternity suits, positive HIV tests, embarrassing pictures ending up in the National Enquirer, etc. If you're lucky you might walk away with decent groomsmen gifts and a not-too-terrible hangover. Bachelor parties are what I refer to as a "forced good time." Similar to New Year's Eve, one's 21st birthday, and other occasions like that, a Bachelor Party pressures those involved to feel as though they must have an all-time experience or they are in violation of some guy rule. You do not have to get completely wild and crazy if you do not want to. It is not mandated by the "Guy Handbook." BE PREPARED! Now that you know you do not have to have an all-time blowout at your bachelor party, preparation is vital. If location, location and location are the three most important aspects of selling a house, preparation, preparation, preparation are the three keys to having a great bachelor party. For example, are you going to be at a lake or a river, or near a swimming pool? If so, please check with the groom to see if he can swim prior to the party. It is fairly popular for one's friends to throw the man of the hour into a body of water during the closing hours of a bachelor party, and having to give him mouth-to-mouth will probably not win you any points or better groomsmen gifts. It might be wise to check to see if any of the other members attending the party are unable to swim as well. Have a designated driver. I do not want to appear to be an old crank about this stuff, but knowing ahead of time who will be driving the groom home or back to the hotel aids in the enjoyment of the party. Renting a limo for the evening is not a bad idea, or at least a taxi. The cost of a limo for one evening is considerably less than a DUI. Plus, there is a much greater chance that the groom gets back safely. So, know ahead of time where you are going, how you are getting back and make one of the members of the party sort of responsible for the groom. You know, make sure someone keeps a relatively mature eye on him to avoid major problems. GET YOUR STORIES STRAIGHT A friend of mine was in charge of throwing a bachelor party for a guy. This friend comes from a devoutly religious household--his father was an Elder in the Christian church. Even though he was in college and out of the house, he was living in his parents' house for the summer and did not want to offend them with any unseemly behavior. He related coming home from his friend's bachelor party - reeking of breath mints - staggering into the house at about 2 a.m. only to see his mother still waiting up for him - as mothers will do for their little boys, even when their little boys are 22 years old. Anyway, the friend is carrying a projector with him into the house. Now, don't get ahead of me here....you and I both know what the projector was for, right? When his mom asked him why he had the projector, my friend mumbled drunkenly, ESPN Sports Bloopers. That answer seemed to satisfy his mom, who smiled and went on to bed. I have used that response in stories since then and everyone marvels at the genius and quick-thinking of that guy. What a great answer! However, don't count on being that quick-witted. If you rehearse your answers ahead of time, it will be easy to tell the right story and stick to that story. Years later, we debated whether or not his Mom believed that line or if she knew what that projector had really been used for that night. The point is, have answers as to where you went and what you did if you are unwilling (or unable) to divulge that information the next day to relatives. It might be a good idea to write them out ahead of time and pass out copies to all those in attendance at the party along with the beer bongs and groomsmen gifts. HAVE THE PARTY EARLY Think in terms of having the bachelor party at least two nights prior to the big event, not the night before. Your wedding day is no time to be worshipping the porcelain god and certainly no time to be suffering from a hangover that would have stopped Bret Favre. There are enough things to worry about that day. MAKE THE PARTY A LEARNING EXPERIENCE At my brother's bachelor party, I was 18 years old and the youngest guy in attendance. I learned to pour beer out of a tap and to smoke cigars that night. Thus, I learned two skills that have been put to good use in the years since then. Because of another bachelor party I attended, I can testify honestly - to the best of my recollection - that the strippers in Nashville, Tennessee are of a higher quality than those in Terre Haute, Indiana. See, a learning experience. Then again, maybe it was because I was wearing wraparound sunglasses at night during that Terre Haute party. I don't remember why I was doing that. However, that night I did learn-- quickly --that you do not ever, ever touch the stage while the strippers are doing their thing. One guy, perhaps even more naive than I even, started to get up on the stage until two beefy guys magically emerged from behind the curtain and told him in no uncertain terms that it would be a good idea if he sat down and did not ever touch the stage again. See, another learning experience. Who says these kinds of events are not educational? Bring home more than groomsmen gifts, this advice is invaluable. "The cost of a limo for one evening is considerably less than a DUI." ENJOY YOURSELF Look, it is a "party," after all. Many times, the bachelor party is more for the other guys there than for the groom. I spent my bachelor party in the company of four good friends, having a few beers in the Holiday Inn in Oak Lawn, Illinois. My friends were all in from other places and I was the only one who knew where we were. A trip to White Castle for hamburgers turned into a Not-So-Excellent Adventure with five of us crammed into my little Plymouth Champ (without air conditioning) with an absolute hellacious thunderstorm going on. The pouring rain made opening a window unthinkable and the steam from five guys in one little car made seeing out of the windshield virtually impossible. So, we headed back to the hotel, and made a nice evening out of handing out the groomsmen gifts, telling old stories and laughing a lot. And we all stayed out of trouble. NO STRIPPERS, PLEASE Okay, if you want to visit an adult entertainment parlor, then do so. Just don't make the groom do anything he might regret later. No pictures of the groom getting a lap dance or anything like that, either - although lap dances as groomsmen gifts are acceptable. And, don't bring a stripper to the hotel where the family is staying. That's tacky. The whole notion of having a stripper is sort of outdated in these politically correct times, but there are preferable ways to conduct the festivities if that is what is planned. THINK TOM HANKS Seeing the movie Bachelor Party should be required viewing for any potential groom or for the person responsible for the party. Things like animals in the hotel room and ex-girlfriends passed out on the bed with the groom are funny in movies - not in real life.

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Top Five Reasons to Give Gift Sets to Your Groomsmen

Why give one groomsman gift when you can give a whole set? For guys who aren't necessarily geniuses at gift-giving (honestly: most of us), gift sets are a good way to give the illusion that you've put a lot of thought into the gift you're giving. Not quite convinced? Here are the best reasons to give gift sets as groomsmen gifts: You don't know what to give your groomsmen. If you're not suffering from an excess of brilliant ideas, give a gift set and odds are he'll like at least one thing in it. Even if he's not much for making sure he has a decent manicure, he'll at least enjoy shaving with the Eleven Piece Leather Manicure/Shave Set. Similarly, he might already have a pair of pliers, but does he have a pocket Tool Set? Exactly. He'll find something in there that he needs. You want to give your groomsmen a lot of gifts. Can't choose between a sleek silver flask or a classically cool Zippo lighter? Give both. Does he like to carry cash while being ready for any MacGyver situation? The Personalized Knife and Money Clip Set has him covered. You want to cover your vices. Make it easier for your guys to knock back a slug of whiskey and puff on one of Cuba's finest with you with a Stainless Steel & Leather Flask with Cigar Holder Gift Set. If you're all planning to misbehave on the go, make sure they're stocked up with the take along Lux Three Piece Cigar and Flask Kit. Sorry, though - you'll still have to provide the strippers yourself. Some gifts are just better given in sets. What, are you going to give your groomsman a single personalized golf ball or one tiny golf tee? Of course you're not. He'll get much more use out of the Premier Golf Accessories Set with three golf balls, four tees, and a marker. It even comes in a nice box that you can get initialed for him so he can use it again once those golf balls and tees have been lost to sand traps and poor quality sod. He needs to shave. If your terminally scruffy groomsman is not getting the hint that he needs to be clean-shaven on your wedding day, your best bet is to give him the Silver-Plated Shaving Set with a Mach 3 Razor. It's subtler than telling him your wife will refuse to have him in the wedding party photos if he doesn't ditch the goatee, and classier than buying him a pack of Bics and telling him not to forget to shave his neck, too.

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The Top Five Best Gifts For Techies

He already has the best phone, the mp3 player with the most gigs of space, and a PDA so tricked out it could see him through being stranded on a deserted island, so what are your options for groomsmen gifts? Rather than grabbing the latest geek gadget off the shelf at Radio Shack and hoping that he doesn't already have version 2.0, go traditional with classic personalized groomsmen gifts that are tech-friendly without costing a bundle or being potentially phased out in the next ten minutes. Here are our top five suggestions. He says his iPhone can do anything - well, can it open a box? We didn't think so. He may have the Swiss Army knife of phones, but if he doesn't have the Swiss Army knife of.well, Swiss Army knives, then fix that shortcoming with a knife of his very own. Now if only you could get him off his phone long enough to get his groomsmen gifts. Wallets are last century, so match up his sleek selection of techie gadgets with the sleek silver alternative to bulky leather wallets: the money clip. With groomsmen gifts like this, he'll have plenty more room in his pockets for what's really important - eighty gig iPods aren't small, you know. Speaking of extra pocket space, make it easier for your groomsmen to access their phones or iPods at an instant's notice with groomsmen gifts of this No. 45 iPod and Phone Holster with Belt Loop. That's right, he doesn't even have to bother with pockets, let alone fumbling through the messenger bag to get at a ringing cell - it's already right there at his waist where he needs it. Speaking of keeping the iPod protected, let's do it in style, okay? Groomsmen gifts like the aforementioned Personalized iPod Holders (for the iPod or cell phone), keep them safe, in place, and since they're personalized, there will be no doubt who those embarrassing eighties pop albums on there belong to. Accessorize your groomsmen for business lunches with groomsmen gifts of this Wallet money clip. It has two things they'll need the most: a money clip to throw down the tip and business card space for handing out that all-important contact info. What more do networking guys need?

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Seven Gifts for Seven Groomsmen

A few ideas for groomsmen gifts, by Wayne R. Glazer So I'm trying like heck to help out the Mrs.-to-be with planning the big event. She's got me calling this florist, and tasting that cake, and trying on 8 different styles of tuxedos - I always thought there was one tuxedo; you know, like the one 007 wears before he bags the babes... I'm busier than a beer vendor on Irish Pride night at Fenway Park. But there is one detail that my little lady will not be pushing upon me, as I have taken the initiative and have begun searching for the perfect groomsmen's gifts. What's that old Broadway show called? Seven Brides for Seven Brothers, right? Well, I've got to find seven Gifts for Seven Groomsmen. That's right SEVEN. Why? Because my lovely fiance (and she most definitely is lovely) picked seven bridesmaids. Keep in mind, that is not including the - let me see if I get this right - five junior bridesmaids, four mini-maids and two flower girls. It's like an estrogen parade leading us up to the altar. I'm not going to match up every little lady with a willing participant, so my job was to select seven comrades to stand by my side and provide me with "support and encouragement and little levity" according to the minister. I'm not sure what he meant by "a little levity" but to me it meant bachelor party! I'm sure to him it meant a well-timed joke or the classic "Help Me" stenciled on the bottom of my shoes. Now groomsmen have a tough job ahead of them - lots of walking, standing, more walking, posing for pictures, etc. So I really want to get them gifts to say "thanks" and something they would use, not just toss in the closet or put up for sale on eBay. But where do I start? And should I get seven of the same groomsmen gift? They all have a desk of some sort, so maybe personalized file folders with leather tabs and brass rivets. Except that Jimmy doesn't really have a desk - he's a sales rep, always on the road. I thought a nice executive pen might be a good choice; perfect for signing important contracts, doing their holiday cards, or writing me a check for the money they owe me from countless poker nights. Then again, Scotty is anything but an "executive" and he loses his keys or his wallet at least once a week. This nice pen would be gone before I got back from my honeymoon. I'm always emptying out my pockets around the house when I come home at the end of the day, and Cynthia will always collect my keys, money clip, change, collar stays, toll receipts, etc. and then put it on the dresser in the bedroom. Then she bought me a dresser caddy to put everything in and we leave it on a table by the front door. Good gift? It was perfect for me, and I know these guys would use it. But I also have this vision of Vincent's Black Lab "Max" either chewing it to shreds or drinking water out of it, so I hesitate on that one too. Vincent and Rich did get me started drinking good wine, so I thought something "wine-related" would be nice, like a fancy wine stopper. But again, someone gets left out here, as I know Scotty would never use it. He thinks wine is waste of money and is satisfied with drinking his Michelob Ultra, or whatever the low-carb beer of the month is -- you'll learn one day Scott. Meanwhile, there's just more Dry Creek and Cane for the rest of us. Everyone has to carry cash with them, so how about an engraved money clip? It's stylish, simple and easy to use - which is good for Carlos, because he can be a bit slow at times. However I know at least two of the guys would never use it - Jimmy and Vincent carry everything in their wallet: pictures, credit cards, ATM cards, video store cards, supermarket store cards, gym id, school id (we've been out of school for over 10 years guys, ditch the id...) dry cleaning receipts, concert ticket stubs, ransom notes, etc. OK, maybe not such a good choice. I do like the idea of personalized gifts though, and Adam was always borrowing my knife when we were roommates years back, so the idea of a stylish pocketknife comes to mind. But then I remembered the day Adam put a four-inch gash in his left thumb with said knife, so I figure I should opt for something a bit safer. So what was the final groomsmen gift of choice? While it would be easier to get seven of the same thing, I decided to pick the best gift for each guy - Carlos is getting the custom file folders for his desk, I'm giving Adam and Rich the engraved money clip, and for Vincent and Rich I found a cool wine gift set with a corkscrew and bottle stopper I decided on a stylish silver pen for Jimmy, which is perfect since he just got promoted and will be pitching bigger clients and (hopefully) closing bigger deals. And for Scotty? I found him these cool leather can caddies so he can drink whatever beer he wants and no one can tease him about it.

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Would You Rather? *Special Sports Edition*

Hey Sport! Now that you've got those groomsmen gifts, it's time to let the games begin. We all know football and sex, we mean, love, make the perfect marriage. But if it came down to the wire, which would you really choose? In this amazing wedding-themed version of "Would You Rather?" GroomStand asks the most intimate, intrepid, and excruciating questions to find out how far you would go for your two loves: your girl and your game. First Quarter First Quarter: Would You Rather? ( polls) Would You Rather ( surveys) Would you Rather? Wake up on the morning of your wedding with.... ( polls) Second Quarter Second Quarter: Would You Rather? ( surveys) Would You Rather? ( surveys) Would you rather? ( polls) And the questions get only harder. Stay tuned for more "would you rather" conundrums after halftime. Third Quarter Third Quarter: Would You Rather? ( surveys) Would you Rather? ( polls) Would you rather? Serve Roethlisburgers or Tony Romo Ribs at your wedding ( polls) Fourth Quarter Would you rather? ( surveys) Would you Rather? ( polls) Now it's your chance to ask GroomStand some questions! Comment below with your own "would you rathers." Remember, not all football questions are this tough. Check out our array of football groomsmen gifts for an easy touchdown.

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Gifts for the "Sensitive Guy"

So what if he gets his girlfriend flowers for no reason and lets Zach Braff pick out his makeout tunes, you still think he's a great guy anyway. Some of us guys can do that touchy-feely thing and live happily, it takes all kinds, right? If you're more the sports-and-brew guy to his mixed-drinks-and-museums fella, you can still find the right groomsmen gifts to give him in thanks for standing up with you. You just may need to think a little harder. If you've asked him to be one of your groomsmen, you probably think he's a pretty great guy. He probably thinks the same of you (at least we hope he does), so give him something to remember the good times by with a photograph of the two of you together in a nice Rustic Picture Frame. Groomsmen gifts like these are perfect keepsakes; they look good on a shelf and make the standard bachelor pad a little more homey. If you want to wait until after the ceremony to give the groomsmen gifts, you can slip in a picture of yourself and all the groomsmen. Neatly-trimmed facial hair or a lack thereof just somehow always says sensitive guy. He cares enough for personal grooming, or maybe he's just going for that clean-shaven look of youth; either way, he'll like groomsmen gifts of this Eleven Piece Manicure/Shave Set. It's got all he needs to keep that perfect mid-nineties Ethan Hawke goatee maintained and his nails in good shape, too (women notice that sort of thing, he'll thank you). Does his knowledge and enthusiasm for good wine impress you on a regular basis? Demonstrate that you paid attention when he opined on the best Riesling for fifteen minutes by giving groomsmen gifts of the Personalized Leather Wine Accessory Valet. If he already has all he needs to break into a bottle of 1979 pinot grigio, go in the opposite direction with something he probably doesn't already have: a MultipurposeTool. He won't see that coming, and he probably doesn't already have a set for himself, so you'll know you're giving him something he needs. Tip: if he's vegetarian, skip the leather gifts in favor of a more bovine-friendly silver money clip. If you want even more impressive groomsmen gifts, try giving him a wallet of sustainable organic cotton or natural hemp.

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From Dugout to Doghouse: How to Win Over your Bride-to-Be During Baseball Season

Don't let baseball season drive you and your fiancee apart! Here are some tips for having the both of best worlds. Remind her of the increasing celebrity angle to sports. With celeb/sports marriages like Posh and David Beckham and Eva and Tony Parker, each play-by-play is potential Perez Hilton fodder. By tapping her into all the glamor and gossip that surrounds the sports world, she"ll warm up to being one of the Baseballer"s Wives in no time! Use your fantasy baseball earnings towards the wedding. This will help her see your fantasy league less as a fratty hobby, and more as a side job (which she should give you absolute peace and quiet to concentrate on). Once you can afford to upgrade the reception menu to three courses or finally buy those groomsmen gifts she"s been pestering you about, she"ll be much forgiving about a little internet "investment". A league of her own. Hook her up with the ever-famous Celebrity League so she can understand the thrill of the bracket first hand. You two can spend many happy hours hunkered over your laptops on the couch, and the tension will totally dissipate. Keep a separate browser window open so that when you hear her come in the room, you can quickly change your screen from your fantasy scores to perusing the groomsmen gifts right here at Groomstand. We"ve got your back, buddy! Propose to her on the big screen at the ballpark. With one swift move, a stinky old stadium quickly turns into Syour spot. She"ll be so mushy she won"t even mind when you spring on engraved baseball bats as groomsmen gifts. If you don"t think she"s the type to be wowed by a sports proposal, remind her of the scene from Legally Blonde 2 When Elle and Emmett plan to wed on the baseball field via a Srecently ordained umpire. Even the girliest girl will not be able to fall for this fool-proof logic. Bring your bride-to-be an entourage of baseball comforts. A cute baseball hat, a comfy pillow to sit on, and a nice cashmere blanket will make her feel like royalty and nix all the complaints about the Spartan conditions of the baseball stadium. Your pals may be thrilled with the ankle flasks you bought them as groomsmen gifts, but women need a little more luxury to enjoy a lengthy sporting event. Be attentive when you are in the wedding planning. When you are out cake tasting and band auditioning, don"t check your Iphone every five minutes to see your stats. Setting these limits and being attentive when it"s important to her will go a long way to keeping the peace during this prime sports season. If all of this fails, get her her own season tickets to something she enjoys, preferably something as long as a baseball game: opera, ballet, four-course dinner club, and just agree that opposites attract. It"s a slippery slope from dugout to doghouse, so follow these foolproof rules and you won"t need to worry about keeping the tags on your groomsmen gifts.

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Gifts for Men Who Have Everything

It's true - some of your boys just seem to have everything they need already. The sportsmen already have their paraphernalia, the cigar aficionados have their humidors, the executives have perfectly fine briefcases. If you're at your wit's end trying to find the perfect groomsmen gifts, look here for some quirky, less-conventional gifts. They're sure not to have all of these, at least. Even if it's been years since your last college road trip, your groomsmen will appreciate the reminder with classic leather map cases as groomsmen gifts. If they'd still rather see the world from a rolled-down car window, and trust Rand McNally over anything, then this is the right gift for your boys. Like all the best groomsmen gifts, it's available personalized, and it's perfectly sized to fit a standard atlas. Do your groomsmen have more on their plates than the average guy? Help them feel organized and in charge with personalized file folders. Far more handsome than standard file folders, your groomsmen may be high-powered executives, but they probably don't have these! These file folders are businessmen-friendly groomsmen gifts, whether he has his own business or just a home office he'd like to keep better organized. Want to give something even more personal? A man can never have too many pictures of his friends, so give him one in the finest frame money can buy. This leather and pewter picture frame is the perfect addition to his home or office. It can be personalized with his initials or with a date. Try filling it with a photograph of your groomsman, yourself, and your fianc - with groomsmen gifts like these, your boys will always be reminded of the important place they hold in your life. Finally, if you have a sense of humor - and your groomsmen really do have everything - give them the very finest in handheld insect elimination devices. No matter how much of a gadget nut or quirky collector your groomsman might be, we bet he doesn't have a personalized flyswatter. Made a fine Italian leather and available customized with your groomsman's initials, giving these flyswatters as groomsmen gifts practically guarantees that you'll be giving them something they don't already have, and they'll remember it for years!

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GroomBob 3.0: Bachelor Party

By Bob About a month closer to W-day since the last time I wrote, and things were actually starting to take on a sheen of calm. The cake filling (apricot guava) had been selected, the bridesmaid dresses (red taffeta) were chosen, and we had even decided on the all-important down the aisle music-Cat Stevens. Hey, with apricot guava and red taffeta in the mix, you have to have a little tradition, right? But just as serenity, a ceasefire of the endless chattering of cake makers, caterers, and musicians threatened to enter, and tenuous thoughts of maybe even an afternoon on the couch watching sportscenter flitted through my mind, tradition took a turn for the, well, tawdry. "This is soooo great," squealed Jane, flopping down on the couch next to me, her green eyes sparkling. In my old football jersey she looked adorable, nymph like, and I reached out to pull her close. "I know babe," I said, resting my chin on her head. "We're finally done with the wedding plans." "I know," she agreed, snuggling her chin into the crook of my neck. "Now we just have to plan our bachelor party." I was glad Jane's face was blissfully buried so she wouldn't be able to see the look on my face. "Your bachelor party?" I said carefully, thinking maybe I just heard her incorrectly. "Oh Bob, you're so silly," Jane trilled, playfully wagging a finger at me. "Girls don't have bachelor parties." "Oh yeah," I said, surrepticiously rubbing my brow in relief. "I forgot." "Yeah, the new thing now is to have a joint bachelor/bachelorette party, don't you know?" continued Jane. "I saw it on that reality show, you know the one where the rockstar and the model get married, and they have like this joint casino night with cigar girls walking around..." Cigar girls, casino night, and Jane? This equation was not adding up. There were cigars, there were girls, there were casinos, and then there was my fianc. The four did not mix in my mind, not one bit. Needless to say my bachelor party visions up to this point had been vague, but roughly included the traditional drunken male hijinks, beer bonging, a mechanical bull, and maybe being chained to a blow up doll for the night. My only goal had been to come home without a mohawk or a permanent 'mom' tattoo. It seemed Jane had something much different in mind. But the more I thought about it over the next week, the more I realized most bachelor parties I had been to were more of an excuse for my friends who were already married to engage in the forgotten drunken debauchery of their youth, rather than a celebration of the groom's good fortune to have found such a wonderful woman to spend his life with. And like any milestone, birthdays, anniversaries, etc, you want your day of celebration to be genuine, unique, full of the things you truly enjoy. For me those things included fine cigars, belly dancing, delicious foods, and my fianc. So two weeks later, when I found myself in a swanky downtown Moroccan restaurant Sinja, being fed exotic treats by women in fuchsia fringe, viewing my buddies enjoy the dancers while my wife mingled happily through the crowded room, I thought the whole thing was a lot better than some dumpy dive bar playing two dollar black jack and then driving through Gordito's, which is what would have happened if it wasn't for my ever enlightened, reality TV addicted fianc. I'd be remiss, however, if I didn't mention some of the finer nuances that come along with a joint bachelor/bachelorette party, but potential complications are easily avoided with just a few simple supplies, a sort of survival kit, easily found at stores or on the internet. One thing I would recommend: t-shirts, or some sort of clothing item, identifying the bride and groom. I saw a great one proclaiming "Last Night of Freedom". Pick up a Groom Bob T-Shirt and other bachelor party t-shirts at this cool site. Otherwise, well people came to party and the dancers are just doing their jobs right? Two: a money clip. This will discourage drunken grooms from wantonly shoving their crumpled one-dollar bills into belly dancers thongs, and the cold metal clip is a good foreshadowing of the steely looks and silences you will endure later that night if you choose to go through with said crumpling. Check out the Dalvey money clip, or an ingenious money clip watch combo, for instance. Finally, a compass is not a bad idea, since a joint party includes the complication of two equally incoherent drunk people trying to find their way home at dawn. Dalvey also makes a compass, for one-stop shoppers such as myself. If you can't have the luxury of knowing your sweetly concerned soon-to-be-spouse is waiting anxiously by the phone, ready to give you a ride at any time, a compass is a close second. And if I couldn't have the traditional drunken free-for-all party every guy plans on, I'd say the joint party is a close second too. Until next time. —Groom Bob A note from Groomstand: Who is Groom Bob? We received this note from 'Bob' last week. Hopefully the lessons he learns about groomsmen gifts, ettiquette and yes, the Chinese zodiac, can help you out, too. Stay tuned.

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How to Choose a Gem of a Jeweler

If you're looking for an engagement ring, don't stroll into the first jewelery store you see. Do your research and pick a competent jeweler. But how do you know if the jeweler has the credentials? Our guest blogger from the Gemological Institute of America provides valuable insight into the dazzling world of diamond buying.Carlsbad, Calif. - Purchasing a piece of jewelry requires important decisions. Just as you consult with other professionals for important advice, such as a family doctor or lawyer, you should turn to a professional jeweler to make a jewelry purchase a pleasurable event.How do you select a professional jeweler? The non-profit Gemological Institute of America (GIA) - considered the world's foremost authority on gemology - offers these valuable guidelines.Guidelines for Selecting a Qualified Jeweler First, a professional jeweler should have the knowledge and training to help you make an informed purchase. Look for credentials that indicate professional experience. For example, the initials G.G. (Graduate Gemologist) or A.J.P. (Accredited Jewelry Professional) after a jeweler's name indicate that the jeweler has had a high level of gemological training.In addition to product knowledge, a jeweler's reputation is one of his or her most valuable assets. Ask friends to recommend a jeweler, or ask a jeweler to provide references. Find out how long the jeweler has been in business, check for affiliations with industry associations and ask whether he or she is a member of the GIA Alumni Association.A Diamond or Gemstone Grading Report Adds Peace of Mind to Your Purchase If you are buying a diamond or colored gemstone, consider getting a report from an independent laboratory with your purchase. For example, professional jewelers worldwide provide independent diamond grading reports with their fine diamonds. The most widely used and respected are those issued by the GIA , the inventor of the 4Cs and the International Diamond Grading System. A jeweler can even arrange to have a diamond's unique GIA Diamond Grading Report number, or even a personal message, laser inscribed onto the diamond's girdle (outside edge) for easy identification. Learn more about how to get a diamond report at the special GIA diamond buying guide.Be sure to ask jewelers about the types of services they provide - such as repairs, appraisals, and inscriptions - the range of products offered and the store's return policy and credit terms.For a list of professional jewelers who have undergone training through the Gemological Institute of America, visit the Institute's web site at www.gia.edu. Check the GIA Alumni Association searchable database for a list of members nearby.For more information or for images, please contact us.

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Groom's Checklist

Sorry to tell you, but even if you're feeling relieved because she said "yes," you're not out of the woods yet. Sure she is going to do the majority of work for the wedding, but rest assured, there is a lot of stuff that can go into the Big Day-and that includes details that are the groom's responsibility. Our advice is that you rent a convertible and head strait to Vegas. That way, you don't have to deal with all the wedding hoopla. If this isn't an option, however, and there's no getting out of throwing this shindig for all of those relatives you've never seen before, we give you The Lighter Side of the Groom's Check List. 6-12 Months Before The Big Day... You've Got Plenty Of Time On The Clock Buy the ring. Promise rings don't work, and stay away from the eBay. Discuss with fiance the date and type of wedding you want. Make sure it doesn't conflict with your sales meetings, important playoff games, etc. Choose your best man and wedding party. This is your starting lineup. Start on your guest list. Think about who will give you large amounts of money. Discuss and finalize a budget. Very important, fellas. Ever go into a strip joint with unlimited funds? It's the same idea with women and weddings, so get control quickly. Limit asking yourself if she's the one to 16 times a day-that's once every waking hour. She must be the one...after all you asked her to marry you, right? 3-5 Months... Second Half Of The Game Has Started Shop with fiance for wedding rings-the band that goes with her diamond ring and your ring. In other words, keep forking out the cashola. Complete guest list and include names, addresses and phone numbers- a major pain, to say the least. Better learn how to use Microsoft Excel. Select tuxedo with fiance. Try to go on a Tuesday, Wednesday or Thursday, because tux shops are less busy on these days. Get tux measurements of all attendants in your party. Discuss the honeymoon, and begin working with a travel agent, or start scouring the Internet for great travel deals. This is an area you can pretend to be interested in, especially if you can find a fantastic honeymoon package. Decide on a band or DJ and choose the music. Again, an area you have some interest in. Bring your iPod with all your favorite music so you can easily reference songs with the DJ. Trust us, your fiance (and the DJ) will be impressed. Discuss moving in together or buying a new home. Hats off to you if you can afford one after the wedding. Budget check time. You are the Chief Financial Officer in this case. Ask your fiance for a recap. Warning: don't wait until you're 60 days away from the wedding or you can count on her being to be over budget. Notify your business associates of the dates of your wedding and honeymoon. Stop thinking about one last fling-well, you can think about it, just don't do it! It's time to be man and welcome married life with open arms! 2 Months... Better Start Making Some First Downs Meet with officiant to finalize ceremony details. Be prepared to answer how you fell in love, what you both do to resolve conflict and your religious backgrounds. Your goal here is to be politically correct. Discuss with your best man his responsibilities. He's the team captain, so make sure he takes his role seriously. You will need the help, trust us. Plan your rite of passage - yup, it's your bachelor party, with booze, poker and strippers. Don't go out to a NICE dinner with the guys because she says so. Arrange accommodations for out-of-town guests. Get this off your plate and give the responsibility to your fiance. Stay out of any family disagreements. It's a no-win battle. Might as well start practicing this now. Figure out seating chart with your fiance. Your fiance doesn't know Auntie Bee hates Uncle Bob unless you tell her. Start jogging a couple of times a week. It's a good stress reliever, and if you can't take the pressure anymore, just keep running, running, running...just kidding, you aren't going anywhere. 1 Month... The Blitz Is On! Purchase gifts for the guys in your wedding party (aka groomsmen gifts). If you both agreed to a prenuptial agreement, have it drawn up and signed. If gifts are being exchanged, buy the present for your fiance. Spend, spend, spend! Hey, it doesn't get any better when you're married. Again, might as well get used to it! Make sure all of your guests have RSVP'd, wedding rings are in hand and tux details are complete. If moving, give change of address card to post office, contact utilities companies, etc. Buy Tagamet and/or Zantac for your stomach. You can purchase it over the counter now, and don't worry-it's not a tumor, just nausea. 2 Weeks... Out Of Time-outs With your fiance, gather necessary documents and get your marriage license - yes, it's really happening. Eat toast in the morning, no eggs...keep it bland. Arrange wedding-day transportation. Get your hair cut. Don't wait 'til the day before. Allow your hair to grow in. You don't want that new haircut look in your wedding photos. Now you can offer to assist your fiance if needed, because by now everything should be taken care of anyway. Reconfirm all honeymoon details. Finalize all business responsibilities and prepare to be gone for a couple of weeks. Have your bachelor party, because it's your night and you're going to need it! Remember, no pictures. Use the air conditioning a lot. It helps keep the clamminess away. Buy six sessions at the tanning salon if you're looking pale at this stage. Remember to get those groomsmen gifts! Won't do to tick off your teammates... 1 Week... 4th Down, No Time-outs Pick up tuxedos and make sure you try it on again. Nothing like high waters to kill the look. Take off a few days from work. You will have a lot to do this week. Notify your wedding party of the time of the wedding rehearsal and dinner. Throw out your little black book. What part of "it's all over" don't you understand? The Night Before... Throw The Hail Mary Bomb & Hope Stay calm because chances are there will be problems that will arise. Anytime your mom and mother in-law are together, there are bound to be problems. Have a brew and rent a video. We recommend Dead Man Walking with Sean Penn. Congratulations! You're Ready For A Wonderful Wedding Day. Hey, you made it, buddy. Enjoy, because it's your day too!

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Gridiron Groomsmen Gifts

Football minicamp is underway, which means it's time to outfit your best buddies with groomsmen gifts for the 2009 NFL season. Even if none of you own a personal bar, these football themed personalized gifts will make the corner stone for any man sanctuary. Defensive Decor Does it matter that your friend's only gridiron glory moment was when his high school team was being blown out? No way. Give your buddy the chance to stand shoulder to shoulder with the legends of the game with groomsmen gifts of this Personalized Premium NFL Locker Room Print. This personalized sign will show that he bleeds Seahawk green (or whatever team color he happens to like). Or, if you have a friend that actually was good back in the day, give him a football sign that will shine proudly in his awards case with the Vintage Personalized Gridiron Pub Sign. Touchdown Table Toppers If you want to add a tasteful sports piece to the bar top or coffee table, the Personalized NFL Humidor is a great sports collectible and a wonderful place to keep your victory cigars. Engrave this box with an important date, like your wedding day - or even more important, the day the Giants upset the Patriots in Super Bowl XLII. Pocket Sized Gifts Incorporate your favorite team into your wedding with some hand held gifts that are sure to last a lifetime. The Personalized NFL Emblem Money Clip is the perfect way to keep track of your cash during the fantasy draft, as well as being a wonderful memento to mark the big day. You already wear your pride on your sleeve, what's stopping you from showing it off? Give a nod to nostalgia of watching games with your buddies with groomsmen gifts of these Official NFL Cufflinks. With these fantastic gridiron groomsmen gifts, you'll be able to gear up next season without letting a pesky thing like a wedding to get in the way.

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